A Marine Visit

Clay was different than I expected. He wasn't a normal guest speaker but what is normal? He didn't have a plan of what he wanted to say and he was clearly nervous. Not a lot of the presentation was about his tours and time in the military. Some of his training came up and it sounded incredible. I can't even imagine doing half of what he had to. He focused more of his talk on how to live. People like telling others what they can and can't do. Clay liked proving these people wrong. It is a great but hard way to live. I understand never giving up on what you want but proving everyone wrong is a hard task. I don't think that everything someone tells you you can't do has to be disproved. The ones that matter to the individual do. For example, if someone told me I couldn't rock climb to the top of a mountain I would agree with them. I have no desire to do it and I am terrified of rock climbing. If someone told me I could never run marathon or get into a specific college, however, I would prove them wrong. Those are things that I want. They may not be my deepest desires but I know if I tried I could reach them no matter what people say. I am stubborn that way and I think a lot of people are now. Today, so many people focus on following their own path instead of doing what others say. There are exceptions to the rule but from a young age we are trained to make our own decisions. Make our own path. I loved this point and think it is important for everyone to fight for what they believe in their own way. Clay went and fought in war but anyone can fight to prove something.

Clay also talked about PTSD. I thought he would have talked more about it because it is a large theme in Ceremony but he didn't. His story about the girl. I was talking to my table group after and we were all in awe. I completely understand why he questions what he did so much. I don't mean to say he made the wrong choice. He saved all of the strangers in the cafe and his fellow marines. It could have played out so differently if he never pulled the trigger. I don't know how I would live with myself if I was put in that situation. He said how if he had a do-over he would have gone and died with the girl. Sacrificing himself for the people in the cafe. Soldiers talk about losing part of themselves when they are forced to hurt or kill women and children. It may be the right call but they see someone they know in the person they killed. It might be their wife, son, daughter, cousin or anyone. To me this is what PTSD is. When something traumatic happens, like in war, you lose part of yourself.