Memoirs and The War (1994)

Jon Avnet's movie, The War, was created in 1994 and is loosely based on a memoir about a young girl growing up in the south after her father returned from the Vietnam War. In the movie, Lydia is a twelve year old girl writing her memoir for school. Memoir is simply a written reflection about a time in a persons life. Lidia focuses much of her memoir on her father, Stephen, and her brother, Stu. Both men have extreme conflicts, internally and externally, throughout the film. While she is writing, Lydia gets the chance to look back on these conflicts and learn for them. Lidia is able to see that war makes people do crazy things that they may regret their entire lives but simple acts of kindness may be able to solve conflicts. 

Growing up in a poor town in Mississippi, Lidia and brother have an ongoing war with the Lipnicki family. The Lipnicki's are the poorest family in town and considered the lowest class. Lydia and family are also struggling with money but they aren't as bad as the Lipnicki's. The Lipnicki kids are abused and uncared for by their drunk of a father. The older boys take care of the younger ones. Stu and the boys don't get along in the slightest. They are always trying to start something with the other. The day Stu and his father go to auction the Lipnicki's start a big fight. Stu and Stephen are driving to the auction house to place a bid on a house but the car keeps stalling. The whole Lipnicki family, drunk father and all, are behind them and begin rear ending them. Stu gets angry and starts yelling at the Lipnicki's. The kids yell insults back and forth until both fathers park their cars. Stephen doesn't want a fight but Stu is too angry to resist one last insult directed at the Lipnicki's father. He becomes enraged and starts towards Stu with a tire iron. This is where Stephen steps in. With his training from the military, Stephen grabs the Lipnicki father, drags him to the ground, and hold his neck in such a way he could snap it in an instant. The fight is over between the fathers now but the Lipnicki thugs aren't done. They corner and beat up Stu. Stu fights back until his father comes and takes him away. "I can't tell you never to fight, Stu. But if you want to know what I think, I think the only thing that keeps people truly safe and happy is love. I think that's where men get their courage. That's where countries get their strength. That's where God grants us our miracles. And in the absence of love, Stuart, there is nothing, nothing in this world worth fighting for" (IMDB). Stephen tells Stu that fighting will not solve his problems. As they leave the auction house, Stephen takes the two cotton candy's he had bought for Lydia and his wife and gave them to the two youngest of the Lipnicki's. The kids were shocked by the kindness. So much so that they were no longer mad and seeking revenge. 

Stephen is a veteran of the Vietnam war. He has nightmares and suffers from PTSD. PTSD is an internal conflict. In Stephen's case, he is battling his guilt from Vietnam. While in battle, Stephen had a great friend. The two of them went through boot camps and everything together. During a night raid, Stephens right hand man was injured. Stephen fought to get the two of them back to the helicopter and then back to camp but he couldn't. When they reached the helicopter the soldier on board told them they could only carry one more passenger. Stephen yelled and even held the soldier at gunpoint but they were both going to be left behind if he continued. Stephen was afraid and didn't want to be left behind. His friend was dying next to him. Stephen went to his friend and told him 'go with God'. His friend closed his eyes and Stephen boarded the helicopter.  "Boy, sometimes all it takes is a split second for you to do something you'll regret the whole rest of your life" (IMDB). Stephen couldn't forgive himself for what he had done and that's how he got PTSD. His inability to focus, flares of anger, and reoccurring nightmare all came from his internal battle of guilt. Stephen has to live with that guilt everyday, but on one of his last days his internal conflict is lessened by an act of kindness. Stephen goes to work at a water plant with one his new friends, a black man. While the two of them are working in a cave, part of the cave collapses. There is a giant rock on top of Stephens black friend's legs. The friend tells Stephen to get out before he gets hurt too but Stephen refuses. Many of the other workers would have left the man for dead because of his skin color but Stephen know that no one person is better than the other. Stephen gets a large stick and proceeds to wedge it under the rock. Using his whole body weight, Stephen is able to lift the rock up enough for his friend to wiggle out from underneath. Stephen refuses to let one of his friends die while he stands by. Part of his guilt dissipated when he saved his friend. Stephen was resolving part of his PTSD. 

When Stephen dies from his accident at work tensions run high. Stu feels lost and angry. He ends up running away to the tree house his friends, Lidia, her friends, and he had built earlier that year. The group of kids had conflicts with the Lipnicki's over the tree house prior to this point but after the last dare the Lipnicki's promised to leave the tree house to them. Unfortunately, they broke that promise. All of the kids who worked to create the tree house are sitting in the tree when the Lipnicki's appear below. This time a dare or a fist fight isn't going to cut it. Both sides bring out real weapons. Stu breaks into his father's old war supplies including smoke bombs, face paint, and flairs. The Lipnicki's steal some of the flairs and set the tree house on fire. They also find a tractor to help their side of the war. The tree house is being destroyed and everyone is getting hurt but none of them are able to see how out of control it has gotten. "War is like a big machine that no one really knows how to run and when it gets out of control it ends up destroying the things you thought you were fighting for, and a lot of other things you kinda forgot you had" (IMDB). The youngest of the Lipnicki's, Billy, runs to the water tower where the key to the tree house door is. Stu runs after him and the rest of the kids follow. By the time the kids reach him, Billy is on the old roof above swirling water inches away from the key. He falls through and is unable to swim through the current. Stu jumps in the water and barely manages to get Billy out of the water. However, Billy is stone cold and not breathing. Stu and Lydia slap, yell, and perform CPR to try and save him. The Lipnicki's have given up hope. They are trying to make Stu stop and let Billy go in peace. Finally Billy takes a breath. Stu and Lydia were able to save Billy's life and stop all future conflict with the Lipnicki's. They could have stopped and let Billy die but they didn't.

War makes people do some terrible things and causes huge problems later on. Lydia was unable to see the craziness while she was living these experiences but looking back she understands. When living in the moment it is nearly impossible to step back and gain some perspective of what's going on around it. Lydia was unable to see the destruction and hurt all around her. She also didn't see the impact of kindness. All of the little things her father and brother did made the conflict lessen.  

War

I don't know much about war, history isn't really my subject. Last year we learned about the Vietnam war. It was the first and last televised war. Vietnam changed a lot of things for America. This is when the anti-war movement really caught the nation's attention. Before Vietnam, Americans were more supportive of the veterans and their cause. When the veterans came home from Vietnam, instead of being greeted warmly and celebrated, they were booed and spat at. Americans mentality of war changed.

My uncle was a vet. He wasn't on a front line or anything but he saw his fair share of awfulness. I don't remember what war he fought in but he retired only a few years ago. He came out with minimal post traumatic stress. I know it is technically diagnosed as PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder, but I don't believe it is a disorder. In every situation we react. It what humans do. In stressful situations, like war and death, we react. This stress is extreme like the situation. It isn't a surprise that such a life changing event could have that large of an effect later on. Every person reacts differently and every case of PTS is different.

Now my uncle works with retired vets. He sees all kinds of problems people develop from this stress. Most common, is substance abuse. He becomes like a sponsor to these people and gets them through rehab. It is incredibly unfortunate that these people feel like they can only escape these horrors by hurting themselves. I was never pro-war. I don't think I ever will be. That being said, I have the greatest respect for these people who will risk their life for their country. What they see is truly horrible and most of them will never be the same when they get back home. I think that is why I am anti-war. If I believe strongly in a cause I will fight for it, just in a different way. I can't handle the loss in humanity and human rights that comes with war. War kills people physically and mentally.

His Last Day

I walked into the room I'd watched being built from the ground up. The high ceilings opened up the room filled with strangers. Light from the skylights and the french doors, leading to the backyard, on the far side of the room chased shadows over the blue L-shaped couch centered in the room. A shadow also crossed over the face of my father. My dad was lying very still on his portable hospital bed. This room that used to smell like home, a mixture of pets, my moms cooking, and laundry soap, now smelled like a hospital.

 My brother was sitting on the floor playing on the Xbox with one of our cousins while relatives I have only met a handful of times crowded around each other and my dad. As I approached they left to converge in other corners of the room. I could feel their sympathetic gaze follow me as I passed them. In my hand I held a picture I had drawn earlier that day. I held the picture in front of my dads face with one hand and placed the other on his arm to get his attention. As he opened his eyes, he smiled and motioned for me to hang it up. I found my mom and asked her for tape. She followed me back over to his bed and helped me tape the picture to the window. Here he could see it without turning over.

 My mom asked me if I wanted to help and I nodded. She handed me a bottle of lotion we got from the hospital. I couldn't place the smell but I liked it. The label said it was for extra dry skin. I asked my dad if he wanted me to put it on his legs where his skin was cracking from the dry and cold December air. He was in too much pain to put it on himself. He hurt every time he moved. The colorectal cancer had spread extensively over the two years he had it. His liver was poisoned and stopped working properly. His skin had a yellowish tint and the once clear blue eyes became greenish yellow. The whites of his eyes were yellow and the red veins became pronounced against the yellow background.

 His reply was a barely audible yes. The rough, gravelly voice I loved growing up had become an airy whisper. I squirted out a bit of lotion and rubbed it between my hands to warm it up. When it became a useable temperature I rubbed it on his legs. I repeated the process until both of his legs were back to a normal texture. I finished and asked Dad if it felt better. His 'yes' was even harder to understand this time. I was still holding the lotion and standing beside him when I noticed something in His open mouth. This brownish liquid was coming up his throat. I quickly called to my mom and told her to come see this. He started choking and my mom's friend, Lisa the nurse, came over to see what she could do. Her and my mom told everyone to move to the other room. All the kids were rushed out of the room by the other adults but I didn't move. I couldn't. My feet were nailed to the floor and my eyes were glued to my father. I knew this wasn't good.

I felt two hands on my shoulders. It was my mom pushing me out of the room. I still resisted but slowly started to move towards the door. I kept looking back over my shoulder. Lisa was backing away from my dad and moving to my mom. I kept walking. As I stepped through the door I knew he was gone. My mom started crying. I was in shock and kept walking to the room I was supposed to go to. Not more than a minute later I was called back in with my brother. My mom led us straight past my dad to the couch. Here we sat, in the same place we were three days earlier when Mom first told us Dad was dying. She confirmed what I already knew. Now I cried. I never thought I would be able to stop.

Eventually I did stop. I ran out of tears and found I still had the bottle of lotion in my hands. Everyone in my house was crying now but I just walked past them. I opened the door to my room and placed the bottle on my shelf. I still have it almost ten years later. It's a token of our last moment together. His last words were to me, his angel baby girl, and I will never let myself forget them. That day brings back so much pain but it is one of my most cherished memories. His last day and my first day of learning to live without my hero, role-model, and best friend. I will always love and miss him.